Genuine Friendship

Genuine friendships can be hard to come by, and I value the ones that I have in my life. Sometimes I think I struggle to truly show people that I care for them, or that I'm "here." a friend I haven't seen in 12+ years today asked to buy a signed (haha) copy of my book, once it is done. We were friends in high school and had a couple of classes together. We have chatted on Snapchat and via text randomly a handful of times, but beyond that, we have really only kept up with each other through comments and clicking the "like" button or double tapping photos on instagram. When I thanked her for her support, even after all these years of not seeing each other, she simply said, "Distance doesn't change friendship, girl! I've treasured your friendship since high school, you're the most genuine person and I love you. You're loved, girl, and you deserve every amount of positive karma coming your way." 

I was struck by her words, because I always doubt that people actually see that I am here and that I care, and that I will always do everything I can to help, when I can. I have always been someone that functions so well on structure and routine, and when things get in the way of, or interrupt, my daily routines, I can definitely get a irritated. I feel as though I thrive when I know what is coming next, and sometimes that can get in the way of the time and attention I give to those in my life. 

In all honesty, this is also why it has taken me this long to take a leap of faith and steps towards publishing something of my own, and letting it be put out there for the world. It's certainly a tiny step, towards the ultimate goal, and it is a simple children's story, but the fear of how it may disrupt my life is still present--the fear of failure and disappointment are both still present. 

Her simple words today (which were "piggybacked" off of someone else requesting the same) made me realize the value of the people in my life beyond what I already know to be true. I may not venture out often, or make time for people the way that I probably should, but I realize that I am seen, and that people do care. My heart has always been tender and overly caring for people. I see it as both my greatest strength and greatest weakness. I want to help everyone and to be there for everyone. This has always been true. This last couple years, though, the tables turned a LOT, and I needed people to be there for me. It was a struggle to accept, and to realize that some days were going to be harder than others, but so many of you were here for me, listened to me, sat with me while the fear of the unknown with Emma set in and the tears came pouring, and you were always present when I needed you. 

Now I'm turning the page to a new chapter. I'm happy. I'm chasing my dreams and taking risks, and after all the struggles and dark times, you are all still cheering me on, still supporting me, and still routing for me--even those of you I haven't seen in 12+ years, and those, like Dina, who I fail to communicate with as often as I should. 

I just wanted to take a moment (okay several moments) to say that I cherish you all, I value your steady belief in me, your unfaltering friendship, even when I fall off the communication map, and the genuine and true friendship you have all always provided. If ever you're going through it and needed an ear, a shoulder, or just someone to distract you, never forget that I am here, even when it seems like I am not.