Reassurance

A week or so ago I was trying to get Emma out of the car. It was night, and it was extremely cold outside. She didn’t have shoes on, and she had taken off her socks. She insisted on “no, mommy, I do it.” I tried to pick her up when she got to the ground, but she didn’t want to be carried. I let her walk for a second, until she cried out, “ouch! Mommy, feet hurt! Hold you!” I picked her up and she asked me to kiss her feet. I kissed them both and held them in the grip of my warm hands, to shake away the cold that stung her. 

In these simple moments I was reminded of both the stubbornness of our human-nature and the patient consistency of our Father in heaven. How often we are told in the Bible to trust in God; how often we are reassured of his steadfast love for us, and yet we still, so often, fail to trust in Him. It is okay, though, to admit that sometimes we do not trust God. God already knows this, and it is okay to ask Him for help in trusting Him in areas that are a struggle for us. We want to do things for ourselves, and to be the author of our own fate, but there are so many things in this life that are better left in the hands of someone who is so much more than we are. We cannot force things, and by trying to, we often cause a disaster that we end up pleading with Him to fix. 

God is patient, and He forgives us unconditionally, should we choose to turn to Him and ask. What a wonderful blessing that is. We all struggle with different areas of sin, not one person is perfect. Whatever that area may be, gluttony, sexual temptation, laziness, anger--whatever it is--God just wants to help us and heal us. He desires for our hearts to be pure, to be cleansed, to be beautiful, and to be happy even in our suffering. We have to be willing to trust Him, though. 

Isaiah 43:2 tells us, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” 

What beautiful reassurance this gives us. I was reminded recently that I need reassurance these days like I never have before. I had never in my life been the person to NEED to know and hear often how someone feels, or what is happening. I’ve always been very stable and strong-hearted. Through the things I have endured, I have fought extremely hard to keep my heart kind, soft and gentle, but in doing that--in not putting up walls around my heart and shutting the world away from it entirely, it has also become laced with fears and anxieties. This is something I am newly discovering, as I try to let people in again. But God reminds me that it is okay to need reassurance, and to allow Him to be all the comfort I need, and allow Him to be the strength and caretaker of my heart. My heart should always, first and foremost, belong to Him, anyway, and in allowing that, no pain will ever be strong enough to pierce past the love that is so deeply rooted there.

    Psalm 46: 1-3 and Psalm 73:26 read, “God is our refuge and our strength, A very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains shall slip into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains quake at its swelling pride”

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

These verses remind me of the faithful endurance of God, but also of the weakness of the human heart. As a mom I have been able to receive of glimpse of the intense love and consistency of God, through how I love my daughter. I will let her make her mistakes, and allow her stubbornness to sometimes (like her cold feet) teach her that it is okay to ask for help. God does this with us, too. He has given us free will to choose, and He wants so desperately for us to choose Him. He will not force it, though, because forced love isn’t true love. Forced love isn’t lasting love. And how beautiful it is when someone chooses to love you, even in your darkest, ugliest moments. God has chosen to love me through all of my ugly, through all of my crazy, and through all of my mistakes. God looks at our hearts, he looks at our human-nature and he says, “It is very good.” He knows we will fail, He knows we will slip up, fall into temptation, make daily mistakes, but He knows that our hearts are good. He knows that our hearts are filled with love and good intention, though maybe clouded with fear, pain, and desperation. He knows that this world has shaken us, but He tries to remind us daily, if we should choose to listen, that  we are not made for this world. 

Strive daily to turn to God, strive daily to trust in Him, through the storms, through the trials, through the sun and through the rain. Close your eyes and allow Him to guide you. Breathe and take the steps placed before you, remembering that in His care, with His guidance, the road traveled may be scary, but the destination from the top is beyond what you could have ever imagined.